How to go from chaos to confidence with food

Jul 6, 2022 | Featured, Intuitive Eating, Savor Food and Body, Women's Health After 40

How do seasonal shifts affect your confidence with food? How do schedule changes affect your relationship with your body?

As the saying goes, “if there’s one thing that’s certain it’s change.”

Changes in season, weather, and schedule can throw your well-intended practices of intuitive eating and self-nourishment off course.

Gaining confidence with food.

Remember how good it felt when school let out for the summer? The freedom to stay up late, sleep in longer, and flow freely through the day without being on a schedule.

While that was great as a kid and teenager, now you’re a woman in midlife, wading through perimenopause mood shifts that make change feel less freeing and more anxiety-producing. You’d like to go with the flow, but it can feel like a tug of war between wanting to relax and feeling like you should be accomplishing something.

One of my clients recently shared a similar lack of direction when it came to school letting out for the summer for she and her kids. The free-flowing lifestyle they started creating was keeping her from caring for herself the way she wanted to, using the self-nourishment practices she created over the past few months of working together.

During our session it dawned on her, why not create a self-nourishment menu at the start of each week to give herself some guidance around food, movement, connection, rest and sleep, and summer activities? That way she can still go with the summer flow, but not neglect her body’s needs at the same time.

I love the menu idea. It sounds more gentle than a list…

“make a list of all the things you want to do to take care of yourself” sounds militant. Making a menu of all the things you want to do sounds compassionate and even luxurious like you’re sitting down at your favorite casual-fine dining restaurant with abundant choices of foods that sound satisfying and delicious.

Making a menu also feels less like you have to check everything off to feel accomplished. This idea that you have to be productive 24/7 is toxic, leading to burnout, overwhelm, and anxiety – which you probably already have enough of if you’re over 40.

sliced orange fruit on white table

Here’s an example of what categories to consider for your self-nourishment menu (think…appetizers, sides, mains, and desserts but in no particular order).

Food

What foods are sounding and tasting good to you this season? What foods or dishes are easy to make, fit with the activities you might do during the week, and that your household might like too? (Don’t get too hung up on this, it’s your menu, not theirs)

Movement

What type of movement feels good to your body as the temperatures get warmer? Swimming at a nearby lake or pool? Walking early in the morning before the rest of your people wake up and the temps get too hot? Enrolling in an outdoor yoga class on the mat or paddle board (if you’re one of those people with great balance and focus)?

Remember this is a menu with different options (consider listing 3-5). Don’t get hung up on committing to one type of movement. If you need rest throughout the week, add that to your menu too.

Connection

This can be with people, your pets, or yourself. It can be in the form of summer activities, get-togethers, phone calls, reading a book, journaling, solo hiking, solo travel, etc. Consider making the options as screenless as possible. Include a blend of both in-person activities with people and solo adventures.

Seasonal Activities

here’s where you can list any scheduled events you’d like to attend during the week. Since these events are scheduled, it might feel like you’re going against the free-flow spirit of the self-nourishment menu, but if they’re important to you, create space for them. This can help you make the most of the season without feeling overwhelmed and too scheduled or over-committed. Consider limiting this section to 3 events in a week depending on your capacity.

Finding confidence with food: As you finish creating your menu, check in with your perfectionist’s brain when it tries to push you into doing this practice right. Remember that creating a menu vs. list is to reduce have-to thinking and increase what you’d like to do the thinking. This will help you practice not only intuitive eating, mindful movement, and stress resilience, but it will also help you flex your self-compassion muscles that often get drained in midlife.

If you’re looking for more strategies to help you undiet your life and thrive in midlife, download the free Thrive Guide and subscribe to weekly emails where I share more intuitive eating practice ideas, nutrition tips for women over 40, and the occasional recipe.

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