I’ve sat across from many women over 35 who have had it. How do you find more satisfaction in life without adding to the daily grind?
They have had it with their jobs, kids, spouses or partners, parents, maybe even friends (especially the ones who are still dieting). They’ve had it with the cultural pressure to be more for everyone else.
Because somewhere through the years, they lost themselves and what they wanted in life. You too?
I often have conversations with women (clients and group members) about how to be ok with enoughness. Topics include:
- 10 minutes is enough exercise.
- Are you eating enough for your body and activity level?
- Some vegetables are better than none. It’s enough.
- You don’t need to cook every night. Takeout is enough. Packaged food is enough.
- Doing the best you can in your (job, relationships, as a parent, etc) is enough.
What if you want the last third of your life to be your best third – as one of my friends hopes for?
Deciding what you’ve had enough of and what you want more of in midlife is an essential mindset shift that can profoundly impact your health goals and overall well-being. Here’s an example.
As a woman over 40, it’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed and frustrated when you juggle everyone else’s balls and put out their fires for decades. This makes you feel like your capacity for doing more in life is shot. Enough is enough, right?
This is the first definition of enoughness. How do you deal with burnout and feeling overwhelmed? Learn to drop balls and let go of other people’s stuff to find more time for what else you want in life. It’s okay to want more for yourself.
Wanting more for yourself is the second definition of enoughness. If there are areas in your life where you feel unsatisfied and want more fulfillment, it’s okay to pursue your dreams and ambitions.
Make this important mindset shift to find more satisfaction after 40.
Decide which definition of enoughness you need to follow and when.
Meaning, if your body is tired from lack of sleep and you struggle to concentrate at work, take a break. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Pour yourself a relaxing cup of tea, take a walk outside, or lay on the floor with your knees up, and take some deep belly breaths.
If you feel frustrated, even trapped in a relationship, at work, with your health, and you find yourself saying, “Is this it? Is this all there is in my life?” It’s worth exploring the second definition of enoughness because your needs or goals aren’t being met.
When you have the capacity (energy, mental space) it’s ok to want to make changes and reach for more satisfaction in life. You can want more. That’s not selfish. It’s self-preservation. This clarity can dramatically impact your nervous system by decreasing stress and improving your overall health and well-being. How do you find greater satisfaction in life after 40?
Here are three steps to help you define what you need to feel more satisfied in life and how to get there.
- Consider your mindset and define your why. What you have had enough of, what do you want more of (what isn’t enough in your life right now)? Getting clear on your answer to this question will help reduce stress and overwhelm, and give you a plan to move forward with.
For example, you want to improve your cardiovascular health so you can enjoy a backpacking trip with friends this summer. You make a plan to start walking 3 times per week and strength training 1-2 times per week to increase your fitness level.
- Make a plan to achieve your goals based on your values related to health and well-being. For example, consider what you value about intuitive eating instead of following rigid food rules.
- What do you want to prioritize in your life right now? If time was limitless, what are your top 3 priorities for how you’d like to spend your time to feel like you’re getting enough out of life?
Take these reflections and use them to create behavior-based goals to help you find more satisfaction in areas of your life where you feel like enough isn’t enough.
Learn more about defining your “why” and goal-setting inside the online Midlife Feast Community created by Dr. Jenn Salib Huber RD ND.
Join Jenn, personal trainer Christine Chessman, and me as we help women in midlife define what’s enough and how to get more satisfaction out of life as they achieve their health goals. Click here to learn more about the Midlife Feast Community. Use the coupon code AMANDA to get 50% off your first month of membership.
