Episode 51: Standing in my friend’s dining room, I noticed a photo of her and her family taken about 7 years ago. My friend looked different – thinner, younger, stylish. Later on during a conversation, I brought up the photo and asked her how she felt when the picture was taken.
Her answer? Hungry. She said,
“I was starving in that picture was taken. I wouldn’t letting myself eat what I truly wanted. I was exercising all the time trying to achieve a body that I thought I should have. I wasn’t happy, but everyone kept telling me how great I looked.”
Jess
Fast forward through many conversations about body image, what it means to be an ideal physically attractive woman, and to be a Mom who does everything for everyone else putting her own needs last.
While my friend grieves that smaller, younger body in the photo, she doesn’t want to go back to a life of restricting food, physically punishing workouts, and feeling exhausted trying to keep up with everyone’s expectations of her. But what’s the alternative – especially since her body has gained weight during perimenopause?
This is what licensed professional counselor and body image expert Brianna Campos calls picture grief. When you yearn for that smaller body even though you know you can’t go back to dieting. Or when you wish you could go back to a simpler time in your life before kids, before a highly demanding career, and before your body changed with perimenopause and menopause.
How do you look at photos from before times and not spiral into body image distress?
How do you look at photos from vacations or events 5 years ago and not wish you still looked like that – even though you thought you were too heavy then?
Most importantly, how do you look at photos of yourself today and not spiral into negative body image thoughts urging you to “get back on track tomorrow, next week, next month,” (aka start another diet or rigid exercise plan)?
Brianna (Bri) Campos, LPC, is the founder of Body Image with Bri. As a body image educator and coach, she’s passionate about all things body image and practices through the lenses of Health at Every Size® and Intuitive Eating.
Utilizing a weight-inclusive approach, she combines her clinical skills and lived experience to teach others how to maneuver through their unique body image journeys.
Follow her on Instagram: @bodyimagewithbri and visit her online.
In our conversation you’ll hear:
- How Bri describes picture grief
- What thoughts go through Bri’s mind when she sees pictures of her body in the past and of her body currently?
- Bri walks you through how to help yourself work through picture grief.
- How to move from being disgusted with how your body looks in photos to no longer feeling shame about yourself as a person
- Weight gain and weight redistribution are common symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. Bri shares her top strategies to help women in their 40s and 50s accept and respect their perimenopause and post-menopause bodies.
Body image is trauma and healing is possible. The first step toward healing is getting in the photos, and being a part of the memories of your life.”
Brianna Campos LPC
Resources mentioned in the show:
Download the free picture grief journal prompts
*Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings
*Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker
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