Is the pursuit of weight loss destroying your relationship with food? Here are 5 steps to improve your relationship with food after 40.
If you feel like your weight is out of control and you struggle to lose weight after 40, you’re more likely to try your old weight loss tricks to get back on track. Does this sound familiar?
Nearly every woman I’ve talked with over the age of 40 wonders, “Who’s body is this? This isn’t me!” Unexplained weight gain is a classic symptom of perimenopause and there are many factors that contribute to weight gain after 40. Read on to learn what these factors are, why they happen, and 5 ways to improve your relationship with food in midlife.
Food choices and lifestyle (sleep habits, exercise, stress management) definitely play a role in weight gain after 40. How you approach those food and lifestyle choices – either from a non-diet approach or with a diet mentality will directly impact your relationship with food. Here’s why.
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When I work with clients privately 1:1 or in group coaching sessions, I love to use acronyms to make health-promoting concepts memorable. SAVOR has become not only the tagline and mission of my business, but it’s also the framework I use to help clients address their concerns about weight gain, desire for weight loss, and improve their relationship with food.
SAVOR is the acronym for the unique framework I use to guide my clients and group members to a healthier relationship with food after 40.
The acronym stands for…
- Start
- Awareness
- Variety
- Options
- Reflect and Release
S – start noticing how messages from your family, medical providers, friends, and the media influence how you think about your body and why you need to lose weight. Notice how these messages make you feel about your body.
These messages are the catalyst for every diet or trendy wellness plan you’ve tried. But what these messages fail to mention is that beyond 2 years of following rigid diet rules (which 95% of people can’t maintain), the weight comes back on plus more. Meaning, your attempts at weight loss are actually causing you to gain weight! Ironic and defeating isn’t it?
A – become aware of body changes – whether you like it or not right now. It’s ok to not love that your body is getting older, rounder, and softer. Aging isn’t celebrated in our culture the way it was in many ancient cultures.
You’re aware of an increase in weight, especially around your waist that over 80% of women between 40s-50s experience. This is because your body is preparing for declining estrogen which has been one of your main protectors of bone health, cardiovascular health, and even mental health during your adult life.
As your body increases weight around your waist in the form of fat tissue, it’s building resilience to declining estrogen levels by mimicking the protective effects of estrogen on your bones, heart, and mind.
You may not love this health-promoting feature, but by ditching diets and savoring food and body, you’ll dramatically improve your health and relationship with food.
V – missing out on a variety of food and self-nourishment practices in midlife has the potential to increase weight.
For example, during your crazy busy days trying to be healthy and good about your eating, you limited yourself to rarely having breakfast or only having coffee and fruit if you do eat anything.
You blow past lunch answering emails, wrapping up a project, sitting through meetings, or trying to get the house in order before the kids come home from school. At the very least, you nibble on veggies, maybe some nuts, and a few crackers (literally 3-4).
By afternoon, hunger gets the better of you and you’re reaching for the Costco-size bag of M&Ms promising yourself you’ll only have a few. Then you’re reaching for the bag of tortilla chips on the way home from picking up kids from soccer or music lessons.
You throw something together for dinner quickly, but you don’t feel like eating much because you’re full from your happy hour of chocolate and chips, maybe with a glass of wine on the side.
Once you’ve managed the evening routines of homework, cleaning up the kitchen, and a few household chores that have been nagging you all week, you collapse on the couch for some Netflix and ice cream, cookies, or popcorn (if you’re trying to be good).
What’s missing from this scenario? Variety.
A variety of foods like rich protein sources, fiber-rich carbohydrates, satisfying fats, crunchy fresh fruits and vegetables, sensual spices and herbs, time to yourself to just breathe, moving your body in a way that connects you to your inner strength as a woman in midlife (I promise it’s there!), reflection time – any variety of these things helps your body feel well nourished in a truly holistic way.
Without enough variety of both nutrients and self-nourishing activities, you’re more likely to reach for the easy feel-better-fix, usually in the form of simple carbohydrates (aka sugar) and snack foods.
NOTE: There’s nothing wrong with those foods! They’re delicious and serve a place among a variety of other nutrients and self-nourishment activities. And they can’t be your only go-to coping with life tools because 1 they’re rarely effective past a few minutes and 2 they don’t help you reflect on what you want to do differently to feel less chaotic or burned out in life.
O – Options. When you’re frustrated with your weight, watching it creep up with little explanation, the options most women turn to are counting calories or restricting food groups and trying to exercise more. However, if you haven’t guessed by now, this weight gain situation is way more complicated than calories in and calories out. In fact, it often has nothing to do with food.
This means, not being able to lose weight easily after 40 can’t be “fixed” by cutting out food, either the amount or whole foods groups (looking at you keto).
Still, wish you could easily lose weight after 40? Well, you do have options. I’m all for body autonomy. You could go back to your diet culture weight loss tricks. Or, you can practice these strategies to improve your health in midlife regardless of the number on the scale.
- Increase fiber intake through whole grains, fruits, vegetables, ground flaxseeds, nuts
- Become more mindful of protein intake. Are you getting at least 1 main protein source (poultry, fish, meat, beans, tofu, eggs) in your meals and adding a secondary protein source (nuts, seeds, dairy, whole grains) when possible?
- Take 10 minutes for yourself each day for meditation, yoga or gentle stretching, walking in nature, deep belly breaths, reflective journalling, or enjoying a cup of herbal tea. Anything that gives you 10 minutes of calm for your nervous system. This will help you cope with stress, reduce burnout, and reduce anxiety all the things that your erratic and declining estrogen levels aren’t helping you tolerate as well anymore.
- Find a form of exercise you enjoy and do it regularly. I’m a big fan of consistency here rather than focusing so much on time and intensity. Some is better than none when it comes to promoting heart health and bone health, decreasing the intensity of perimenopause anxiety, and helping you to connect with your body from a place of equanimity, respect, acceptance, and even joy.
- Sleep! Can be difficult during midlife. But setting yourself up for a great night’s sleep can make all the difference when it comes to reducing being overwhelmed by life and the stress of a changing body.
- Consider your nighttime routine. What do you need to help yourself get at least 7 hours of sleep?
- Can you reduce or eliminate screen time 1-2 hours before bedtime?
- Can you trade Netflix for reading a paper book at least a few nights per week?
- Do you want to try a bedtime meditation or sleep story from apps like Calm, Headspace, or Ten Percent Happier?
Bonus! Getting adequate sleep will decrease the stress response in your body which can decrease cortisol levels and cravings for simple carbohydrates (which might support weight loss after 40).
Any of these options can help you honor your health and wellness goals independent of your weight.
R – Reflect back over the S-A-V-O strategies above, what resonates with your attempts at weight loss now that you’re in midlife? Which of these strategies do you want to try to support your health (physical and mental) goals?
Pick a few to try this week, then reflect on their effects or the barriers you bumped up against trying to do them. What do you want to do differently or the same next week?
Then release your experience from this week and start fresh next week. Learning to undiet your life by savoring food and your body is a life-long practice. With time these strategies will become easier and second nature. Have patience and compassion for all the unlearning and re-learning you’re doing.
Fill out the form above to download the Thrive Guide. Then dive into each of these strategies with more guidance, clarity, and support. You’ll also get my weekly emails with tips on how to make intuitive eating in midlife easier.
