When was the last time you wore jeans that didn’t trigger thoughts of,
“my stomach is rolling over this waistband, I’m getting too fat, why is perimenopause weight gain a thing, I need to lose 10, 15, 20 pounds (or more?).”
September usually brings up 2 emotions for women in midlife
A) Relief. Finally, the kids are back in school and now you get your daytime hours back to do whatever you need to – including the urge to get your health and body back on track with the latest diet or wellness trends.
B) Frustration. Your jeans from last year don’t fit like they used to. “Ugh, why does this happen EVERY year?!” Or at least since you turned 40 give or take a few years.
You vow to get a handle on this “obnoxious” weight gain – thinking, ” Now that the kids are back in school, I have more time to start a new workout program or finally get back to the gym after months of summer potlucks, BBQs, and vacations – eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.”
You’re ready to get back to body fixing mode – toning, losing, re-shaping, or at least hoping for all of these things before the holiday feasting season begins.
I appreciate your motivation to devote your daytime freedom to improve your health.
The tricky part is assuming that losing the weight you’ve gained during perimenopause will cause you to be healthier
Because unfortunately losing weight doesn’t cause healthiness. And being healthy does automatically mean you’ll be thin. Here’s the proof.
The research on weight and health likes to make this a cause-and-effect connection, but in reality, the study results only give us a correlation effect.
“Losing X pounds correlates with decreasing risk of diabetes, heart disease, and some cancers.” Is not the same thing as saying losing X pounds will cause decreased risk of diabetes, heart disease, and some cancers.
This is more than just semantics. Saying something causes something else is definitive. If you pour gasoline on a fire it will cause a more significant flame and the fire will spread. Research has been unable to assure with any certainty that people with thinner bodies will never get diabetes, heart disease, or some cancers in the long term.
Therefore research also can’t, with any certainty, assure that people with larger bodies will get those diseases based on weight alone. There are many other factors like lifestyle, genetics, access to weight-neutral health care, economics, etc that also correlate with whether or not someone gets diabetes, heart disease, and some cancers.
What does wearing jeans have to do with perimenopause weight gain?
I recently listened to a guided meditation by one of my favorite meditation teachers, Jeff Warren on the Ten Percent Happier App. It’s called Wearing Pants and in 10 minutes Jeff walks you through the experience of wearing pants in a humorous, light-hearted way.
As I listened I thought about you and every other woman experiencing perimenopause who’s about to step back into jeans as the seasons change and the temperatures cool. I remembered my own body shape-shifting journey recovering from disordered eating and what it felt like to feel my stomach fold over the waistband of jeans that I bought just last winter.
“Damn it! I’ve outgrown another size! Why does this keep happening? Why can’t I get my weight under control (lose weight).”
Wearing pants, especially jeans, can be emotionally triggering with perimenopause weight gain
On the flip side, when you’re able to fit into a pair of jeans from years ago after you’ve been following the latest diet trend, you’re elated. You feel like you’ve arrived, here you are, finally with your weight under control (lost weight)!
Until you’re tired of following the diet rules. You’re hungry for foods you love. And you ditch the rules or most of them. Now those skinny jeans don’t fit anymore. Now here you are again, trying to wear pants with emotional turmoil.
A client of mine, we’ll call her Jane, recently shared her experience of going to buy new pants and a few new dresses for fall. After a session of diving into why wearing, a size X was unthinkable compared to wearing a size Y, she decided to challenge her clothes sizing beliefs and go shopping.
After she got home, with new pants and dresses in hand, she wrote me an email to share her experience. (shared with permission from the client)
“I just had to follow up with you and tell you that I bought myself some new clothes today and I tried something fun and helpful. I grabbed about 4 different styles of jeans, each in sizes X and Y. Then when I got to the dressing room I closed my eyes and mixed them all up.
I tried each one on not looking at the size, turning away from the mirror as I pulled them on to just notice how they felt, and then looking in the mirror, but still blocking anything that had the size on it. It was great, I really noticed where and how they each fit me or did not fit me for my body and my comfort, feeling the sensory aspect of the fabric, and then looking to see if I liked the look of the style. I happily landed on two pairs (both ended up being Xs after all). I got a couple of cute dresses too” 🙂
Alpine Nutrition LLC Client
This is an example of undieting your life by not relying on food rules to fix your body when you feel your body change size and shape
By shifting the focus from what your body looks like, you’re more able to focus on health-promoting behaviors such as trying new forms of movement you enjoy, getting better quality sleep, practicing gentle nutrition with meal planning, reflective journaling, and spending time in nature.
If this seems daunting to do for yourself, consider this. As your kids were growing up and needed new clothes for school each year, I’m betting (and hoping) that you didn’t shame them for their bodies changing. You just went back-to-school clothes shopping.
This season, I’m inviting you to do the same for yourself. Go buy some jeans that fit and feel good on your here-and-now body. This is the number 1, sustainable way to manage weight gain in perimenopause and menopause while still looking fabulous in jeans.
Ready to undiet your life as Jane did?
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You’ll also be added to the waitlist for the upcoming Savor Food and Body small group coaching session starting in October. Wouldn’t it be great to not agonize over wearing jeans every fall? I’d love to help you get there! Click here to subscribe
*NOTE: featured image photo by Jason Leung, is of Rugged Motorbike Jeans
