It’s been well over a decade since I traveled internationally. In that time my relationship with food has been through the wringer – vegan, gluten-free, soy-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, oil-free…pleasure free! Here’s how eating a soggy sandwich at the base of one of the most famous mountains in the world helped me heal my relationship with food.
During my disordered eating days, a handful of foods were always off-limits based on the current diet fad I followed.
If you’ve micromanaged your food intake, you know how miserable and time-consuming the experience is.
When I finally hit diet rock bottom and started working with a therapist and dietitian, I was able to find some freedom with food – at least in my rational mind. But it wasn’t until I went on a 3 week’s trip to South America that true healing began.
When traveling internationally, you’re at the mercy of the local food culture. Going to a local grocery store can feel like an excursion to an exotic tourist site. Thrilling if you’re adventurous, and terrifying if you’re used to food rules dictating what to eat.
International travel requires you to be flexible and open to new experiences, especially with food.
At the same time, I can sympathize with wanting to be cautious about how foods might agree with your body or not while traveling. For example, if you eat a raw piece of fruit thinking it’s a healthy choice only to be doubled over with stomach cramps and diarrhea.
This happened during an earlier trip to Nepal before my disordered eating days. That experience made me a cautious eating traveler. Paired with my current list of food rules, I was also an anxious traveler with little to no food freedom. Until I forced myself to face my food fears with a soggy sandwich on white bread.
We stayed at an all-inclusive hotel complete with guided hikes, local organic foods, English menus, and wait staff, a seemingly perfect “clean eating” scenario. The evening before our hike, I was given a list of sandwiches to choose from. I’d been mostly gluten-free for the past 10+ years. I stared at the sandwich list with the food police ranting in my head.
“If you eat any of these sandwiches you’ll be miserable, tired, and bloated you won’t be able to finish the trek!”
Turning down the volume of the rants, I chose a hummus sandwich with veggies. The next morning, when I was given my lunch sack, I found a six-inch doughy white sandwich with very little hummus or veggies. The food police started shouting again, “yikes, what are you going to eat…you can’t eat that!”
My former dieting voice kicked in, “no problem, there’s an apple and some trail mix. You’ll be fine for the 10-mile hike with nearly 3000 feet of elevation gain. You’ve run marathons on less food!” I stuffed the lunch in my back and headed out the door toward the trailhead where we would meet our guide.
After nearly five miles of climbing, I was starving! To my dieting mind’s disappointment, the trail mix and apple weren’t going to cut it. I unwrapped the doughy, smashed, and soggy sandwich and took a bite. I ate for self-nourishment rather than self-control by honoring my body’s need for energy. Initially, I thought,
“This is the most processed food I’ve eaten in probably more than a decade. Will my body even know what to do with it?”
I pushed the self-critical attitude aside, trying to pay attention to where I was and who I was with. After I finished the sandwich, I reflected on the eating experience.
I realized I really don’t like squished sandwiches on bread, not because diet culture thinks they’re unhealthy. Soggy bread is genuinely not my thing. This dates back to high school when I loved eating bagel sandwiches because they didn’t get soggy and held up in a backpack!
As the clouds lifted off the tops of the peaks, I released my lunch-eating experience, snapped a few more photos, and started to pack up for the hike down.
I was grateful to enjoy lunch at the base of Torres del Paine and realized that food rules don’t matter – especially when traveling.
If you’re considering traveling anytime soon, I hope you let go of beliefs about food that no longer serves you. Chose to savor the whole travel experience -physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Learn more about my healing journey in this interview with Delivery Rank
Subscribe to the Savor Food and Body weekly emails to get more stories, strategies, recipes, and resources to help you undiet your life and start savoring food and your body.
