Attunement disruptors like perimenopause and menopause symptoms, poor quality sleep, and stress can make intuitive eating harder for women over 40. What can you do about it?
The good news is that you can practice many lifestyle habits to feel more attuned to your body’s needs in midlife. The bad news is, you can’t diet your way out of perimenopause and menopause symptoms. You already know this, which is why you’re here, right?
You want to do intuitive eating instead of dieting – awesome! You’re excited and can’t wait to enjoy all the foods your previous diets (food rules) said were off-limits. You buy the foods, and eat them constantly “because they’re there.” Frustrated, now you feel stuck in fuckit eating. Why is intuitive eating harder after 40?
You followed the 10 principles of intuitive eating. Where’s the ecstatic food joy and positive body image all the intuitive eating influencers talk about?
Reality check.
Those intuitive eating influencers are in their 20s and 30s. Their hormones and monthly cycles are steady, and smooth sailing behind the scenes. They don’t wake up with night sweats or feel pissed off when the courtesy clerk bags their groceries wrong. They don’t have teenagers (enough said) and likely their partner isn’t driving them crazy – yet. Of course, intuitive eating is easy for 20 and 30-somethings!
Intuitive eating feels harder during perimenopause and menopause because of so many attunement disruptions.
How are you supposed to tune into hunger, satisfaction, and fullness when your body feels like a dumpster fire and you hate seeing your body in the mirror?
“I never had issues with food and eating or my body until I turned 40 and gained weight. Now I don’t even recognize my body. I don’t want to diet. I don’t need to be skinny mini, but I’m worried about my health. I can’t keep gaining weight!”
“I’m lost in this whole situation. I have zero clue what or how I should be eating. Gentle nutrition feels like a word to cover up healthy. How is that different than diet culture? Eat more fiber, phytoestrogens, and protein – all the recommendations for women my age focus on these diet recommendations. How is that not diet culture?”
These comments came from 2 different women I worked with in recent months. Nearly all women over 40 who come through my private practice get stuck in the messy middle between gentle nutrition and diet culture – especially during perimenopause and menopause.
Yep. You’re not alone.
Attunement disruptors include perimenopause and menopause symptoms, parenting teenagers, marriage or partnership difficulties, aging parents, and increased demands at work. They all reduce your ability to listen to internal cues about when, what, and how to eat. Not to mention the commentary from diet culture that says you shouldn’t get old or gain weight. Does that mean dieting is the only way to be healthy after 40? Nope.
3 strategies to deal with attunement disruptors of midlife and become an intuitive eater no matter how many years you spent dieting.
1. When you have no more fucks to give.
Get support for your perimenopause and menopause symptoms from your healthcare team. For some women hormone replacement therapy (HRT or MHT) helps elevate symptoms of night sweats, hot flashes, anxiety, and heart palpitations. It can also support cardiovascular, bone, and brain health. For other women, myself included, whom HRT isn’t a good fit for, phytoestrogen-rich foods may help reduce symptoms.
Phytoestrogens are plant-based estrogens that bind weakly to the beta-estrogen receptors throughout the body. While not as strong as HRT, phytoestrogen foods like soy, flax, lentils, and black beans have been shown to decrease hot flashes and night sweats, improve sleep quality, and decrease mood swings.
2. What were you doing at 2 AM last night?
Waking up between 1-3 am is common for women over 40. Whether it’s because you need to pee, your partner is snoring, the cat needs to be let out, or your brain thinks it’s time to tackle your to-do list, sleep disruptions can wreak havoc on your ability to sense hunger, satisfaction, and fullness with food.
Create and practice a bedtime routine to help your nervous system relax. Try limiting your caffeine and chocolate intake to the morning. Yes, dark chocolate can be a breakfast food group! It takes caffeine 10-12 hours to clear your system. So that 10 am cup of coffee will stop affecting your nervous system about 8-10 pm when you’re ready to start your bedtime routine.
After 40 circadian rhythms can get disrupted with hormone fluctuations. Support a normal circadian rhythm, with sunlight exposure within 90 minutes of waking up. Bonus points if you can get outside to exercise during this time! If you can’t get outside, try light therapy instead. Supplements shown to improve sleep include magnesium, herbal teas (chamomile, lemon balm, relax blends with valerian), and melatonin. Always check with your healthcare team before taking new herbal or nutrition supplements!
3. Have you read the book Burnout yet?
If I had a case of this book, I’d give a copy to every woman over 40 I meet. Once you hit perimenopause, your built-in stress-coping mechanism estrogen starts to fluctuate and decline. This means you’re less stress-resilient. Little things like your teenagers not putting dishes in the dishwasher, your partner leaving his clothes on the floor, or your boss asking you to stay late for one little project can all put you through the roof!
Even as your estrogen levels fluctuate, you can still deal with increased stress in midlife by completing the stress cycle. This helps your body release stress hormones like adrenaline, epinephrine, and cortisol by moving them through your body. You can do this with vigorous exercise for 20 minutes (preferably outside), laughing or crying, deep belly breathing, talking with a friend, or a creative activity like art or playing music.
With these 3 tools in your midlife toolbox, you’ll stay more attuned to your body’s changing needs. You’ll be less likely to feel burned out at the end of each day and each week. Food will be there as a source of nourishment, pleasure, and joy rather than a coping mechanism for perimenopause and menopause symptoms.
